Dear universe,

Right now, you and I have a slight deficit in our agreement on what should be happening. I think I’ve had a slight taste this week, however slight, of what life is likely to be like in a few years time when I’m working in the field, and to be honest… I hate/love it. Admittedly, I’m probably swinging on hate right now due to a few factors that are largely pain-related, and sleep-deprivation related, so we might have to calibrate those in.

This week, on average, there has been a marked lack of sense in my approach to sleep. This is not entirely the fault of the universe, no, but is also the fault of a) Student Grand Rounds, b) medical school, and c) Miles – sort of.

a) Student Grand Rounds, it must be mentioned again, was however a worthwhile exercise as it was lovely to work with Lisa again – hyper organised and perfectionistic? Like a mirror sometimes – and the case was very, very interesting, and the student feedback was quite positive… even if the academic feedback was, although positive, also “wow guys… um, too much?”. Despite this, SGR ate up some, oh, shitload of hours that were scheduled in the Great Study Plan 2011 EXTREME Mark I that have sadly now disappeared into the æther. This is irritating.

b) Oh medical school. How I’ve missed staying in your hallowed halls until 9pm on weeknights. Yes, I’m doing this to myself, and it’s all your fault, because I feel wretchedly inadequate and… gah. This is the sad part, as I can see it continuing for, oh, three months. That’s a downer actually, and is making me feel a little low when I think about it.

c) Miles. This is more of a joke really, but I was chatting away with Miles online, talking about all kinds of random stuff but mostly stuff of the feminine persuasion, and I was perhaps less awake then I should have been when talking with people online, and he started making grandiose threats that woke me up due to my own indiscretion. So yes, perhaps I should have simply signed off earlier and gone to bed, but hey, sometimes it’s amusing to lead people on… until you realise you’ve talked yourself into a goddamned corner. Oopsie. Amusingly enough, the corner doesn’t even exist in the way that it seems to, but a tired brain which is then jolted by random sympathetic drive isn’t what I want happening at 1130 when I have a simulation the next day.

It’s also an interesting day today – my first hospital free day in a while – which started out with aforesaid simulation in which we killed SimMan (a robot) once, almost killed him once, and didn’t kill him twice, and is currently in the state of me sitting at a desk typing this out after working through three paediatric CBLs and realising with mounting irritation and discomfort that yes Virginia, there’s a reason I’m still taking regular painkillers, and I should have checked to see that I had any in my bag this morning.

I did manage to have a small social excursion last night, which has resulted in me now being required to relearn to structure of an Ode, and then compose one to the delicious substance known as potato wedges. Ah, jocularity.

I must admit, I’m feeling slack for not writing another Geriatricaggedon entry yet, and I do promise that I’ll try for one… maybe over the weekend? It’s just been such a full week or two, I’m still in a bit of pain, and I’ve had a weird emotional/mood rollercoaster going on for a few weeks that is primarily due to med and life in general that makes me want to curl up for a few days and just… I’m not sure. Maybe eat cake or something.

The only other thing to add is that today, I have had three coffees, and very wired, and have decided that tonight is my night off this week. So I’m excited there. Might even, I dunno, write something creative or try something for the lonely empath. Wild craziness in store!

Oh and Miles, despite what you may think, I enjoyed our chat. The result was wildly inappropriate, but hey. It’ll work out. 🙂